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Barzellette : in lingua inglese barzellette > in lingua inglese

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Remote control

"Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman fumbled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your tv remote?" the cashier asked. "No, " she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so i figured this was the most evil thing i could do to him."

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spedisci salva scarica sposta elimina brutta non male bella commenta

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I'll write you a check

a man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive store. ' 'Show the lady your finest mink!'' the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the owner discreetly whispers to the man, ''Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65, 000.'' ''No problem! I'll write you a check!'' ''Very good, sir.'' says the shop owner. ''Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.'' So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged, ''How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!'' ''i just had to come by, '' grinned the guy, ''to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!''

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spedisci salva scarica sposta elimina brutta non male bella commenta

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Good news and bad news

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "i have good news and bad news, " the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When i told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."

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spedisci salva scarica sposta elimina brutta non male bella commenta

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At twenty a man is a peacock, at thirty a lion, at forty a camel, at fifty a serpent, at sixty a dog, at seventy an ape, at eighty, nothing at all

Baltasar Graciàn

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spedisci salva scarica sposta elimina brutta non male bella commenta

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My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties

Douglas Jerrold

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